http://leon-orr.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] leon-orr.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] leon_orr 2006-08-27 07:29 am (UTC)

Логически правильнее ваш вариант, но ритмически - мой.
В вашем на один слог меньше, ткань стиха ломается.
Но - спасибо.
(10 comments)

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